General

LETTER TO MY UNBORN CHILD

warning: this letter you are about reading is born out of childhood of watching home movies coupled with my observation of some women in our contemporary society. It should not be a yardstick for judging my personality. Thanks
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Every August as i celebrate my birth, it dawn on me that “life is in stages and men are in sizes” twenty children do not play for twenty years. This year am 25. Unlike your mum, am not shy neither am i intimidate by my age. At this age, i am yet to have a date (or girlfriend as the case maybe) and i fear for when you will arrive this planet, i fear for the outcome of the father/child relationship that will exist between us, i fear for what the mother earth has in stock for you, and above all, i fear for bringing you into this wicked and evil world.

I am sorry if i delay or disappoint you for not following the footsteps of your Grandfather whom at my age is already married to your grand mother with your two aunties.

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But would you blame me for that? At my age, your grandpa was gainfully employed by the Federal government with bonus skills in agriculture for bare subsistence but here i am still gunning for gold while searching the globe to find you the best mum after serving my fatherland in a strange land. Before i forget to tell you. I also entertain fears for the woman who will bore you, i fear for how her carefree and absent-mindedness might bring you to harms way while playing as a kid, i fear for how she will neglect you for gossips with fellow women while am away toiling under the sun as a result of her deceitful act which has landed me in that predicament, i fear for when she will poison your mind and instigate you against me at every slightest provocation there is and these are but my greatest fear.

My greatest fear is what you will become in future. Whether, you will grow up a gentle fellow or let my inherited gene of sturbuness dominate your system, whether you will think before acting like your dad or simply act before calculating the consequences of your actions like your mum. Oops! Least i forget, i havent met your mum so whatever hasty generalisations i arrive at here about her is informed by the philosophical saying that “men think & talk” while “women talk & think” and to assume that your mum is different will be best insulting to the philosophers.

Amid the fear i entertain, i look forward to the day you will arrive mother earth, i look forward to the day you will grow up to have such discussions that the fear of a dirty slap/withdrawal of pocket-money never let me had with your grandpa. Discussion like;when your body chemistry is electrocuting you towards opposite sex; sex education; when you start a date etcetera.

I look forward to the day i will say “this is my beloved child, in whom i am well pleased” or simply turn to your mother and say to her “woman, you see the disappointments your child has brought upon you. Did i hear you saying….”what is this man saying? Is he expecting me to bring disappointments to them?. Well child, what my age can see seating down, you can never see it even when at the top of airtel antenna and the problem with children is “you never know what they grow up to become”. So yes, am expecting you to bring disappointment to your mum as much as you make me proud. The choice is yours to make but either way, remember its your life to live for i might not be there to help your mother bury her head in shame if you are otherwise from making her proud, but trust me, if the reverse happens to be the case, even there from above, I will chant your praise to the angels and proudly say “that is my child”.

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27 thoughts on “LETTER TO MY UNBORN CHILD”

  1. You speak from a shallow perspective of a woman, and despite the fact that we don’t know what our children will become you don’t ever speak of d possibility of them bringing shame to there mother. U talk about carelessness of a woman I don’t mean to offend u But is that to say your mummy was careless about you and your siblings, Well I know that’s not true So you don’t talk about your proposed wife that way. No mother is ever carefree about re children even if she does not have anything to offer them No mother will ever want any harm to come to her child and no woman will ever want her children to bring her shame, so I don’t agree with your points.

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    1. Many children have gotten one form of deformity or the other due to there mothers careless attitudes and we can’t dismiss the fact that some women are careless….. A story was told of a woman in Army barracks in warri whom was engaged in grapevine with her fellow women and her to years old baby left her, went to the backyard and fell into an open sock away and was there for more than 5hours before the mum realised her child wasn’t around her. By the time the baby was found, she was already dead. Is it that or the many children who have deep there hands in fire or hot oil or electricity because there mum were not watching. How do you reconcile or debunk these facts. Truth is….80% of what a child grow up to be is credited to the mum. And as hitherto said “the thing with children is. You never know what they grow up to be”. So the truth is… As you assume the best for your child, pray him or her out of the worst… The woman whose 25years son was caught stealing would disagree with you if 23years ago you told her that her child will grow up to become a thief

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  2. Very inspiring but you are sentimental, women are to be pampered even if you don’t will not fulfill what you have told them but they prefer hearing it. Good write up bro

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  3. nic write up bt u must knw dat u hv to anticipat 4 d best even in kind of wife u want. always tink postiv of ppl. am sure child wil b hapi if u paiint a beta pix of d type of woman his/her mother wil b

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    1. I couldn’t agree more….though I was thinking aloud, but truth is…in as much as we should anticipate for the best, we must not debunk the fact that things can be otherwise. However, we just have to pray for the best. Thanks for being here…hope to see more of you around

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  4. True saying freeman, so inspiring and thought provoking. I always knew u had greatness within…Keep the ball rolling pal

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  5. This is an intelligent word indid sir but remember dat d power of lyf n death is in d tongue so irrespective of wat we av faced in our dispensatn shuld nt be passed on to d nxt generatn cos d glory of d latter shall be greater dan d former.God bleSs u reall gud n kip impactin ur work

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  6. @enemoma. Lol. Hope this your speechless does not carry unborn child. Anyway thanks for being here…@jezreel..thanks for your kind and friendly remark. @sis B. Hmmmmmmmm, I was just thinking aloud not prophesying. Those are but my fears…….. And you will agree with me tthat, the problem with children is that: you never know what they turn out to be in future and the problems with the wife to be is: you never know her true character till you get married to her……thanks for being here and hope to see more of you

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  7. Well said bro! Truely, one cannot predict the outcome of our children…especially in this age. Just when you think you know their very move, they changes like chameleon. I guess, we all have a role, a very important one at that, to play in the upbringing and nurturing of our children…to become all that they are created to be – God’d best, to the glory of God and for the betterment of mankind.

    Also, to blame your child’s misdemeanor or nuisance on the mother alone tells the type of father you are, as a person. Children’s upkeep and care are not the sole responsibility of the mother alone. How your child turns out is the function of the role the father and the mother play. If the child did something to be proud of, it is the combine effort of the father and the mother. But if the reverse is the case, both of them also have a share in the blame.

    My advise: Stop apportioning blame on each other, and train your child in the direction that you’d want him or her to take/go, and when they grow up…they will strive hard to make the family proud. Because then, all they have learnt from you has become ingrained in their heart that it began to influence their everyday decision making process.

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  8. I must confess, saint Okocha I really miss your comments here. I would totally agree with you if this post was not meant to bring out my thoughts on the attitudes of some of our men. Though , aspect of the post is me talking but that of apportioning the blame for every disappointment to the women alone…..is some Nigeria men attitude talking . thanks for flying with me.

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  9. infact dis is a very perfect brainwork, in comprises things we need to tk note of if we must prepare a brighter future for our children

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  10. infact dis is a very perfect brainwork, it comprises things we need to tk note of if we must prepare a brighter future for our children

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  11. wel it is a good write up. But u err to write harshly lik dis 2 ur wife 2 be, even ur son would says u disrespect his mother. I want u write an apology letter for all insult clauses and phrases u used aganst her in advance. I can but encomium @ ur good works so far. U are good broda. I hereby recommend 2 Reuben Abati.

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  12. Bro. Stevooooo..thanks for the encomium and as for the apology in subsequent post, that would only be necessary if i was sure of whom the mother of my unborn child will be but since I was just aanalysing my state of mind based on attitudes of women around my neighborhood. I guess I will save the apology till she arrives. You will agree with me that my fears have been even worst confirmed in several situation in the society……… We just have to hope and pray for the best why expecting the inevitable.
    Thanks for being here

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  13. Nice Write-Up, I love this ………..Hhhhhmmmmm, Lucky unborn
    babies !!!!!!!!!!! Wishing you and your unborn children greater success
    ahead. You are well known man, who always give hope to an hopeless
    man, a great ‘SHIP Admiral’ that always design his time to lift and
    propel friendSHIP, relationSHIP to greater destinations. Bozz your
    unborn babies are so special for being the special blood continuation of
    Freeman Agada Daniel. I can say this categorically that they are
    offsprings of a caring father and a loving paternal..
    I know if unborn babies can decide to choose their father, you will be
    father of too many children of that generation, but my children will not
    choose you ahead of me, lol. Bro. Am wishing you a great success till
    your dreams become reality. On those special days when your partner
    will put to bed, you will honestly say ‘this is my dream come true’.
    Boss like Friend, Friend like Boss, I am now looking forward to one of
    the next exciting chapter in your life. Wishing you greater success ahead
    and to your new family. Cares

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    1. Hmmmmmm..what an encomium coming from a brother and a friend…wash I sew you….thanks for stopping by…..indeed, if children were to choose there fathers, mine wouldn’t have chooses you too…lol…you are always at heart brother….one love

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  14. If i should get u right u speak of wat has nt yet happen. This are thought inside of u and i consider it a selfish thought brother and it s nt gud for u. Job say wat i fail most has come upon me. Scriptures say as a man thinketh in his heart so he is, so stop does thought of urs. It s nt bad dat at ur age no girlfriend of fiance cos u are nt d only one.

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    1. Hmmmmmmmm. Bros its me thinking aloud but it does apply to what I see in contemporary African society and in home videos where the father usually says: the child is the woman’s own when he goes wrong and praises him when he does right…… And like I said……the problem with children is that you never know what they will turn out to be when they grow up and whether we speak positive or otherwise into their life…what is predestined by God for them will come to pass…(no be me talk am oh…..na so e-dey for bible)

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  15. isiaka208@gmailds coupled with great composure but,I don’t quite agree with you on d carelessness and negligence of women when it comes to child upbringin. I read a story on a blog recently about how a woman hid her 6months old baby in the toilet fewminutes to her murder by her husband who later committed suicide. Hommie, you have not even found the mother of the child yu wrote this piece to and you are already poisoning the child’s mind towards the great wifey I know she will be.. Remember your words will either hurt or heal,be careful what you pen down.

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  16. @isiaka…I can’t agree with you more on the power of words and its effect..but the thing is…..with the life of contemporary women in the present society…you just can’t tell what your unknown wife will turn out to be….so why we hope for the best….we shouldn’t debunk the possibility of otherwise and just as protective as women are that you have observed….so are they careless….(I refer you to my respond to yemi above for supporting reasons)…..however, like the old saying goes “pray for the best why expecting whatever has been predestined”…..thanks for being here and that was a constructive comment…..look forward to seeing you around….one love

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  17. Wow…. i envy d moda if ur children bt i also pity her…. U ve really put alot of tot into dis… Did ur moda break ur hart…. Aniwayz abt ur tots i blive evryone is bound to make mistakes wen nurturing deir children even d fadas not onli deir modas… N abt ur future wife dat u re yet to knw… give her d benefit of doubt… Remember compromise is nided in evry relationship…

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    1. Lol….I take your comment to heart as much as I take your presence here to heart…my mama was the best mum..she never did hurt me for once…..though I have seen a lot of cases as used for example in my neighborhood and it Pierce my heart that someday I will have to father a child and leave him to the care of the mother while I source for our daily bread and chances are that the mum might not be careful and he will get hurt…..

      But am hoping for the best with my fingers crossed…. Thanks for being here and finding my thoughts worth your time……hope to see more of you around here….
      …….peace

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  18. Nice one, buh ur general view of woman,wud kip u in d searching industry for a lng time,lol, dis is becos,we v women nd mothers so it depends on who u find as a wife…a woman who is nt a mother or woman who is a mother, so my dear, shine ur eyes…cos women are like gift,if u r lucky u will unrap d good one,likewise men sha….but in all it ws an intresting write up…keep it up…i hope ur unborn child recieves dis…am out.

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