This year has not been very good to me and its not the first disappointment or misery i wear on my countenance as i journey through with daily struggles for survival. My believes, aspirations, and thoughts for the year from unset which was a mirage gave me reasons and a wish to renegotiate my very existence with my creator if i were to see him and hope for a voice to seek clarification on some terms and condition of service/existence. Talking of condition of services, i have not been faithful in paying my tithes and giving offerings in my sparing Sunday services. Though its not as if its the only service i owe my creator to earn his blessings and its neither a leverage for my existence and good health as my pastors and other religious leaders will make it seems, but even the praise, thanksgiving, worship and supplications which is not capital intensive, i have been lackadaisical about it. I often take refuge in predestination believing that what will be will be and that is the reason why my two hands can count the number of times i have been to church and other gathering of worship for this year.
I expected much from my creator and at some point childishly poured out my rage on him for giving me less not realizing that where i am is a yearning for many until recently coming to realize that my life is a script that am barely a protagonist acting out the character assigned to me.
I have tried my hands on so many things, some i failed, the ones i barely made it through with, accountability is questionable. So many people have crossed path with me this year, while some are a huge blessings, i can’t say the same about those that said they were Christians and calling God there witness on our first meeting (I have been duped twice by such fellow).
At a point, i thought i will be happy if am attached and as a result i allowed my emotions, heart and very being to be manipulated by the person i had a crush on but as the plot unfolds i latter realized that the happiness i seek has just begun and i resolved not to let what family, friends and society says about my being unattached bother or reflect in my memory. As much as my family brought me joy and happiness, so do they imported misery, frustration and psychological torture to my life, and am one of the few Nigerians who will admit without fear of favour that my family is not the perfect one but we create and grow in love from our imperfections.
I admit i have failed God this year but i can’t say the same of him for he has preserved me despite my inadequacy. I have given him reasons to be ashamed of me yet his mercies kept me. Needless to say he owes me nothing..
As hitherto said, i have tried my hands on so many things, but i find out too late, it was never my day but am gonna keep on trying until my lucky day but just before i proceed with my new identity henceforth, am taking out my time to say a big thank you to OJO ODOBAOGAGU my creator for his grace and mercy as i relocate to the back seat and allow him to steer the wheel of my life………..
OJO ODOBAOGAGU: an expression signifying the omniscient nature of God by the Igala people of Kogi state.