Focus: Mother’s Advice

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For thirty four years that i remained married to your dad, i carried a surface injury in my heart that he constantly pricked but being a woman has only thought me to smile through those pains.

She took me outside along the river bank under the palm trees, asked me to stare at the surrounding with deep reflection on the aesthetic of nature surrounding us. I was astonished as to what would warrant such but being born into the ethnic group i never choosed, i knew i was forbidden from expressing my rage at such a trivial task in the early hours of the morning when i should be gunning for gold to feed the family, so i did and all i saw was the beauty of the palm trees and so when she asked me what i saw, i wasn’t sure of what to say and out of accumulated curiosity, i simply asked why all this in an early hours of the day.
Twenty seven years ago. She narrated, i almost laid down my life just to ensure you see and have a life, if i could go back in times, i would have wished you came to me under a more conducive environment but i look at you every day and glorify God for the man you’ve grown up to be.

After hearing the story of Cain and Abel, and how God watched the formal killed the later just to ask him “Cain where is your brother Abel”, i have long made peace with destiny to remain married to your father despite all i have been through and all that lies ahead of me so long as we remain husband and wife till death do us part.
Your father was a far cry from what any sane person would describe as a compassionate husband. I married him when i was barely fourteen years, lost my virginity to him, bore him eight children and have never seen the nakedness of another man before or after him, but there is no year that passes by prior to the last one year that i don’t pick quarrels with his concubines or himself on their account. The very night you arrived this earth before my very eyes, your father walked passed me with one of his concubine and didn’t return to the house till dawn.
For thirty four years that i remained married to your dad, i carried a surface injury in my heart that he constantly pricked but being a woman has only thought me to smile through those pains. Today i brought you out here being my only son to pray you never to conceive it in your heart to bring pain upon any woman. I was afraid you will grow up like your father but i thank God you didn’t inherit any gene but for intelligence from him and for this am proud of you son and i return the glory to God.
You might have known me to be a very lousy mother because am always raising my voice at your father but son, i wish i had a better ways of expressing my agony for this is who i was made to be by constant hurting.

Every night as i kneel to pray i ask that God give you a compassionate heart, and a woman who would not take that for granted. I know growing technology and the new media have shaped the society and those norms we consider etiquette in our time is term “Old Fashion” so i say to you as the woman who brought you to fulfill the life God has given you, that there should be no condition whatsoever for you not to love your wife and the presupposed mother of your children, my grand kids, even if you picked her from the club or the streets, you are under an oath with me this day to love her and aside God place no one above her, not even me your mother.

For every reason there is to make her shed tears, find a million reason and ways to put smiles on her face and if the world call you names for that then remember that, no name supersedes or can speak for you but the names i gave to you in the presence of God.
Your wife will become overtly disrespectful and see you as disgusting at some point and this is the time you should love, honor, serve and worship her the most (listen to a secret son) she is carrying my grandchild and i forbid you from ever hitting her and never walk away from her, learn to keep your rage under control. So many words abound in my uncanny heart to pour out to you this day but son this little wisdom i want you to always reminisce over for my time draw nile and may not know what life holds for me tomorrow but always hold on to this words and i guarantee you will have a union where your challenges will be surmounted by wisdom rather than fighting, for the formal is wisdom and the later is a sham.



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