Happiness is a Relative Term

I realized am not alone in the story of this life, the happiness i seek lies not in the more i take, for it make the less i become. So many theories on human happiness have been propounded by self-acclaimed happy therapist. I do not subscribe to any of their recommendation because it is an incredibly simplistic theory lacking rigor and barely opinionated.

I want to see the studies, the data collected, the population sampled, the trials, the peer-reviewed research, the scientific method, the names of the reputable social scientist, the margin of error, the null and alternate hypothesis tested, before i subscribe to the theory as having any validity whatsoever.

I tried having a conversation with a friend how i have felt terribly unhappy and as though a part of me was missing that needed to be fixed lately, and in all his wisdom that compelled me to confide in him, he simply told me that i was a product of a broken society that’s why.

It will be time wasting to explain to him that my dad before me found himself in a family of uncountable offspring of his father before him, whom i think suffered libido issues or just like making women producers of plenty kids yet he was incredibly happy (at least from his countenance), but it won’t be time wasting to tell him i was not born into a broken society. I was only fortunate to be blessed among seven women.

Non of the studies i have read actually applies to why some people are happy. Come to even think of it, who said some people are happy?. Our assumptions could be wrong, we cannot just assumed people are happy because they choose to say so or smile through their worries. Happiness is a relative term and there is no proven universal therapy to being happy (at least non that am aware of) and am open to learn if you think there is one that i am ignorant of. Until then, i think for me, incredibly, inexpressible happiness are hidden in the little things i do like hanging out with friends, chatting, reading, playing with my nephew, being around my families/friends, and loving all of you. I mean you that contributes to where i am now and where i am heading to.

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to whom it may concern

Dear unknown date, it is my hope and prayer that your footstep is hasten towards my path sooner as i have long anticipated your coming and the blessing and ecstasy that comes with it. But before we embark on this presupposed journey, please bear in mind that;

I know people say that they never will
Be the one to make you cry
But Baby girl I cannot lie
Your feelings will get hurt this time

Believe me when I say
That I’ll never change the way I feel for you
So baby let’s not fuss or fight
‘Cause we just don’t have that much time.

But whatever my mistakes (inevitably) might be, if among them is “fooling around” then;

Let me start by saying that the way I
Feel for you has never once changed
And the games I played, mistakes I made
Leave me sorrier than you’ll ever know
We got a problem baby I can’t lie
Coz lately I realize that I
Never knew that we was on the same (playing field)
Knew that it was wrong but we (let it be)
And I know you never knew when you said “I do”
That you would have to face all the (pain you feel)

And it’s killing me girl that you have to live with this
Live with the lies I tell
Live with the pain you feel
Knowing the man you love is fooling around
Oh baby said it’s killin me girl
Said I just don’t understand
Why you wanna be with this kind of man (ooh ho)
Why would you love a fool
With all the things I do
I know it’s hard for you
Hard for you to live with this.

And if ever you are skeptical about how i feel for you then note that;

You found a soilder
But Im a man of peace
I fight for your love
They try to take it from me
Then protect your heart so you never be hurt again.

But if ever my efforts are vague to you and seem inadequate then remember that;

You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You’re frozen
When your heart’s not open

You’re so consumed with how much you get
You waste your time with hate and regret
You’re broken
When your heart’s not open.

People will gossip me to you and do same to me about you but always bear in mind that;

They try to tear us apart
Said we’re not made for each other
Tell you things about me so unflattering
I found someone new and you have forgotten me

All day long it never ends
Could you come back home?
This feels like hell

For every reason there is to leave me, always find another reason to stay because the love we will feel for each other will be so strong that;

I don’t know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy
‘Cause you’re the only one up in my heart
I was born to make you happy
Always and forever, you and me
That’s the way our life should be
I don’t know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy.

But if this is not a just reason and you insist on quitting then note that;

If you ever leave me, baby,
Leave some morphine at my door
‘Cause it would take a whole lot of medication
To realize what we used to have,
We don’t have it anymore.

There’s no religion that could save me
No matter how long my knees are on the floor (Ooh)
So keep in mind all the sacrifices I’m makin’
To keep you by my side
To keep you from walkin’ out the door.

‘Cause there’ll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There’ll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same, if you walk away
Everyday it’ll rain, rain, ra-a-a-ain

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melancholic prayer

Dear heavenly father, i come unto you with a heavy heart, while i have offloaded some of the burden my heart bears at your feet, others my uncanny heart cannot explain but of those, am confident you know better than i do and you never sleep nor slumber.

Every angle i turn to reinforced my believe that the very act of survival in itself has been long defeated by humanity, occasioned by sin. Am at that stage of my life when funny thoughts creeps in; thoughts of suicide, thoughts of sleeping and not waking up. These are but the few i can phantom, i cannot share this thoughts with your servants as they will neglect the humanity in me and question my religious faith, and even if i told them i was born again, they insist i undergo deliverance as the only means to eradicate my fears and thoughts, they insist something was wrong with me to think of suicide, they insist am not in you(Christ) that is why i worry about my inability to care for the needs of my sisters, retired earthly father, and financially incapacitated mum. They insist a evil spirit dwells in me to think that living in my family house in my late twenties makes me feel like a nonentity, and instead of counseling me out of my predicaments, they add to my bricks of fear.

I admit am not your perfect son and for my acts and deeds, you are even ashamed of me and i equally take full responsibility for who i am and i must admit that i am as much ashamed of myself as well. But father, the world as we know it might come to an end after posting this heart cry and you will not negotiate the trumpet sound for anything. So while i hope and pray that my soul will be acceptable unto you when your appointed time comes, i ask that your eyes of grace, mercy, favour, and prosperity shine on me in the remaining days of my sojourn here on earth.

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Reinvesting my heart again

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he who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the lord Proverbs 18:22

Since last week I have been thinking of starting a new relationship and this time, I mean a serious relationship. After my first serious relationship six years ago with my ex, I have not had any other serious relationship, there are some relationships that i had for the six years since the last time and those were just kind of flirting, not the mundane flirting that i was involved with women romantically. That’s not the one i meant. It was just somewhat chatting or flirting a girl but never got to the point that we kissed, non even knew where i lived and i have never stayed indoor with any. Suffice to say i have not given my heart to anyone.

This year, i am twenty-seven years on planet earth and i know i am shortening on time and i don’t care if you think otherwise. It will be a hypocritical reaction if i ever admit that i don’t envy and want to become like my friends getting married and having wonderful kids and i am not saying i wanted to become a father for the sake of envy but for the blessing that comes with it.

Now, i am thinking to give a chance and reinvest my heart for the second time in a lady. It’s been already six years since i found and dwell with the principal means of escape from the loneliness that has plagued man all through his life (LOVE). I don’t understand how my body or emotional psychological part functions every time a lady is becoming close to me. I automatically lost interest to her and the very first time i open up my heart to accommodate one. Unfortunately, she has been taken. Now instinct has taken a better part of me and in choosing which to follow i must have the courage to face the consequences that may happen in every relationship as i set to commit my heart to someone’s hand.

Hmmmmmmmm. Please do wish me good luck and the best of character in whoever she is.

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Matters Miscellaneous

Barely one week that the “lost but found” most controversial budget in the democratic history of Nigeria was signed by the President and still awaiting implementation with some ministries being asked to appear before the supreme court to justify their allocation following non payment of the meagre minimum wage in many states. In my opinion, this ill-timed removal of fuel subsidy is a highly inimical act and it just adds hopelessness to the bricks of its citizens hardship.

I am not an economist and the justification for the removal of fuel subsidy (the only dividend of democracy in Nigeria) does not lies in my domain of interpretation and analysis but without equivocation and prejudice, I condemn in strong term this action of the present regime in an age when the best living standard is not for any reason to be negotiated for, due to the labour of its citizens supportable by the work output.

Nigerians are very good at taking advantage of situations and i trust them to have skyrocketed the price of all marketable items in and out of the market and tag it “SUBSIDY” or put in the market woman parlance “na subsidy cos am my pikin” and this will just be a means to an end.

While i still uphold my unreserved support for the President Buhari’s change mantra, i hope a day will not come when i will have to look back and say “i wish” because this higgledy-piggledy state of the country is heading for a fiasco if care is not taken.

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Equality of Sex or Equality of Ego?

Whatever you fear to lose, you lose eventually because your fears brings insecurity and in attempt to secure whatever it is you act out carefully and suspicious of everyone around and this in itself is the end.

My default mentality before attaining maturity was that the evil perpetuated in our society is a product of the ruling class, not until lately before realizing that our broken pride, egocentric display coupled with the cunning emotional poisons released on us from our parents and the society as we grow up is the leading cause of our broken society.
We are bread on the mantra that the world is for the taking and in other to partake we have to be smart, cunning, dubious and occupied with evil thoughts hence, the present African society strives on these ingredients of national underdevelopment and called it “survival of the fittest”. As you read, parents have booked a seats for their ward in special centers and paid huge “contingency fee” for the forthcoming WAEC and NECO SSCE examination, ongoing recruitment in most federal ministries and parastatals have been flooded with names of same people whom parents under the most accessible administration in the world have obtained unlimited amount of the country’s currency through the Dansugi-gate and starched same in soak-away pit, overhead tank, and underground buildings for generations yet unborn.

Display of fun-fest foolishness have taken the center stage with different families and even youths showcasing the highest level of mental immaturity for unearned wealth while the host company depend on this to generate more sales. Then very nauseating is the fact that those that should be looked up to as last resort in curbing this madness are caught up in the greatest display of madness while taking refuge in what they called “equality of sex”. As you read, don’t be surprised if you sleep and wake up to the news that “aggrieved Nigerian women have gone on indefinite strike pending when the bill to allow for equality of sex is passed”.
What they mean by
“equality of sex” I do not seek the understanding but I guess Mrs. Fayemi and the host of other feminist in Nigeria agitating for this bill have a better explanation for it because to me as I see it, the female folks are already superior to their male counterparts (ask any married man who runs the family) am sure he will tell you his wife if he should let go his ego for that moment but when the feminist raise their head they make it sound as though women are somewhat oppressed and suppressed but the reverse is the case, what pose a the difference is the fact that due to the egocentric nature of man which is his God bestowed trait, he flung his shoulder to the world that he is in charge yet go indoor to succumb to her might.

As a Nigerian, there is no form of display of misplaced priorities that I have not seen and I do not have any problem with any woman who would want to surgically replace her vagina with her husband’s penis (because with them every mundane things are possible) and send him to the labor room to produce the kids but all am saying is that this enormous God given power can be channeled into timely changes like; calling their mad husband’s to order, correcting their cheating sons, teaching their wayward daughters that simple etiquette that the later generations strives on and making the society a better place before thinking of balancing position because as for me, am tired of always being indirectly on top and am sure most men are to.

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