Posts Tagged With: friends

Am no Longer Slave of Fear

Am not given to making New Year resolutions or penning down a “to do list” that I will probably forget when circumstances takes a twisted turn. For me, every day is a new beginning to do what needed to be done or make that call, adjust that life style or take that decision needed to stair my life in the right direction. Some of the decisions I made last year like Reinvesting my Heart Again for some reasons best known to my creator didn’t come to pass but so many decision I didn’t jot down on any piece that just came or dawned on me from the daily mundane conversations I had with the wonderful people my creator has placed in my life saw the light of the day prominent among which is the establishment of my research firm. I have a very weird and what some folks called awkward believe system and this stems from the opinionated submission that my life has been predestined prior to my conception and the only duty I owe to the will power who have predestined my life is to be good and deviate from sin and be human in a world where everyone is devaluing the very act of humanity. I have a past that am not proud of but in this race of life where humanity strives for perfection daily, who would submit to being proud of yesterday than today is the person who is not adjusted to change and I don’t mean CHANGE in the context which the Buhari led administration came and psychological cajoled us into casting ballot for them. The year that precedes this year enslaved me to fears; fears of dying; fears of not meeting parental and societal expectations; fear of inadequacy; fears of failing my creator daily; fears of not meeting my needs then the Bethel song echoed a reassurance of my predisposition towards fear;

I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God

From my mother’s womb
You have chosen me
Love has called my name
I’ve been born again
Into your family
Your blood flows through my veins

I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God

I am surrounded
By the arms of the father
I am surrounded
By songs of deliverance

We’ve been liberated
From our bondage
We’re the sons and the daughters
Let us sing our freedom

You split the sea
So I could walk right through it
My fears were drowned in perfect love
You rescued me
And I could stand and sing
I am a child of God…

You split the sea
So I could walk right through it
You drowned my fears in perfect love
You rescued me
And I will stand and sing
I am a child of God

Yes, I am
I am a child of God
I am a child of God
Yes, I am
I am a child of God
Full of faith
Yes, I am a child of God
I am a child of God

I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God

Just when I was looking for a way to return all the glory for this reassurance through the Holy Spirit from Bethel song, Matt Redman gave it all to me through his soul uplifting rendition

Bless the Lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His Holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I’ll worship Your Holy name1
The sun comes up
It’s a new day dawning
It’s time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass
And whatever lies before me
Let me be singing
When the evening comes1
Bless the Lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His Holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I’ll worship Your Holy name
You’re rich in love
And You’re slow to anger
Your name is great
And Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness
I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons
For my heart to find
Bless the Lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His Holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I’ll worship Your Holy name
And on that day
When my strength is failing
The end draws near
And my time has come
Still my soul will
Sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years
And then forevermore
Forevermore
Bless the Lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His Holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I’ll worship Your Holy name

Now instinct have taken over me and I have hence resolved to do away with complaints. This disposition, Nathaniel Bassey reinforced with;

Casting crowns
Lifting hands
Bowing hearts
Is all we’ve come to do
Adonai, Adonai
Adonai, You reign on high
We will rise, in Your Name
Adonai, You reign on high
Reign on high
Reign on high
Casting crowns
Lifting hands
Bowing hearts
Is all we’ve come to do

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Freedom of the Body, Enslavement of the Soul

Alight my uncanny heart oh! Creator,
Reverberation of pains in my heart heaps.
Not for the open gate of obtainment;
Not for the apparent restiveness of my generation;
Not for my labouring mother;
Nor for my toiling father.

Alight my uncanny heart oh! Creator,
I weep with melancholy glued to my face
Not for my mal-nutritional meals;
Not for the darkness of the night;
Nor the presences but lack of water.
Not for the liberation of your children,
For twenty children do not play for twenty years.
But, alight my uncanny heart oh! Creator,
For this pain I shall but no longer bear.

Alight my uncanny heart oh! Creator,
For your light is now made visible darkness
And we must follow the path with no other light,
If we don’t, they say demons possess your body,
If we don’t, they say we question you,
If we don’t, they rebuke us;
They carry out all form of ritual to maim us.

Alight my uncanny heart oh! Creator,
For I am given to much ramblings
But what can I do with this vulnerable body of yours?
I fear that I may be converted.
Converted but not to the wisdom of thy doctrine.
But I fear I may be converted;
To the visible dark path they conjure.

Alight my uncanny heart oh! Creator,
For I too seek the root of all evil,
But in my quest I yearn for your undiluted wisdom,
To lead the untwisted path,
For thy time draw nigh,
When thy true illumination gives immortal life.

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Grateful Heart Also Laments

I am not going to church tonight, not because I woke up on the wrong side and it’s not as though am proud of it. Even though the services these days shrink my faith and add to my bricks of fears while diminishing my faith and courage, who am I to disobey the holy book and its instruction to all Christians not to neglect the gathering of the saints (even though the opposite of the implied meaning of the word “saint” is what we see in the church these days).

The lord saw me through with my academic pursuit even though for a reason best known to him, he allow me fall sick at the dawn of every semester exam with illness that has no identifiable cause or diagnosis. I went to youth service, amid my success stories he still spared my life from the hands of the devil when I was strok with somewhat “cholecystitis”. I don’t even know what that means. The doctor once said I was asthmatic but to the glory of God, I have never carried an inhaler or show forth any of the symptoms of asthma.

Time has never been a friend of my, and not even the seconds for every one of it that tick draws me closer to my grave and this hurts my feeling knowing that much is still desired of me and only but a little have I achieved.
I had a chat with my boss sometime this week and I express my displeasure with the calendar year 2015 and pray it to quickly roll up its sleeves to enable me drop it from my life’s calendar but after a careful assessment of his grace and mercy upon my life, I came to realize that it will be best insulting if I don’t acknowledge that I have a will power to whom I must give my totality to regardless of any situation that might have prevailed in my life.

So before I watch this year finally pack his baggage and bounce out of my life never to return again, I want to say a huge thank you to all my readers, followers, friends and family, adversaries, and wordpress for giving me a voice in print, sincerely, you guys are the reason behind my success story and I couldn’t have made it thus far with wordpress if not for your support. Above all, my unspeakable heartfelt gratitude goes to my creator, the higher will power to whom I must surrender my totality to in few hours time for seeing me through the year and for his promise for the upcoming years………A prosperous and fulfilling new year too you all…………Gracia.

Categories: General | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

TRUE CONFESSION

This year has not been very good to me and its not the first disappointment or misery i wear on my countenance as i journey through with daily struggles for survival. My believes, aspirations, and thoughts for the year from unset which was a mirage gave me reasons and a wish to renegotiate my very existence with my creator if i were to see him and hope for a voice to seek clarification on some terms and condition of service/existence. Talking of condition of services, i have not been faithful in paying my tithes and giving offerings in my sparing Sunday services. Though its not as if its the only service i owe my creator to earn his blessings and its neither a leverage for my existence and good health as my pastors and other religious leaders will make it seems, but even the praise, thanksgiving, worship and supplications which is not capital intensive, i have been lackadaisical about it. I often take refuge in predestination believing that what will be will be and that is the reason why my two hands can count the number of times i have been to church and other gathering of worship for this year.
I expected much from my creator and at some point childishly poured out my rage on him for giving me less not realizing that where i am is a yearning for many until recently coming to realize that my life is a script that am barely a protagonist acting out the character assigned to me.
I have tried my hands on so many things, some i failed, the ones i barely made it through with, accountability is questionable. So many people have crossed path with me this year, while some are a huge blessings, i can’t say the same about those that said they were Christians and calling God there witness on our first meeting (I have been duped twice by such fellow).
At a point, i thought i will be happy if am attached and as a result i allowed my emotions, heart and very being to be manipulated by the person i had a crush on but as the plot unfolds i latter realized that the happiness i seek has just begun and i resolved not to let what family, friends and society says about my being unattached bother or reflect in my memory. As much as my family brought me joy and happiness, so do they imported misery, frustration and psychological torture to my life, and am one of the few Nigerians who will admit without fear of favour that my family is not the perfect one but we create and grow in love from our imperfections.
I admit i have failed God this year but i can’t say the same of him for he has preserved me despite my inadequacy. I have given him reasons to be ashamed of me yet his mercies kept me. Needless to say he owes me nothing..
As hitherto said, i have tried my hands on so many things, but i find out too late, it was never my day but am gonna keep on trying until my lucky day but just before i proceed with my new identity henceforth, am taking out my time to say a big thank you to OJO ODOBAOGAGU my creator for his grace and mercy as i relocate to the back seat and allow him to steer the wheel of my life………..

OJO ODOBAOGAGU: an expression signifying the omniscient nature of God by the Igala people of Kogi state.

Categories: General | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Friends indeed

Do unto those from you don't have expectations

Do unto those from whom you don’t have expectations

The good news of a man they say comes after his death. Death as used on quote could means his absence or could litrarily means going to his ancestors as the case with late president Umaru Musa Yaradua. Today going by the kind of leadership style fashioned for Nigerian’s by the badluck sorry. Goodkuck administration, a good number of the public as they seat with melancholy glued to their faces everyday will reminisce the good old days of Yaradua and question death. Travelling from the West to East in search of a lively means kept Me wondering what will become the fate of the unborn Nigeria child. NYSC through its intensified efforts left us with some skills to become employers of labour but gave no capital to help bring their effort to realisation. Our sense of responsiblity goads us daily while fate has become questionable. Amid this state of affairs in my beloved country. Am still thankful for the kinds of friends I surround myself with. They are really my estate, friends indeed. with nothing to offer they still take you in and even vacate the apartment for your convenience having feed you with an incredibly delicious meal that you’ve not had in ages………..you and every other persons associated to me as friends are indeed my estate and I promise not to let you guys down. Thanks for being part of my life…..

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