Posts Tagged With: love

Am no Longer Slave of Fear

Am not given to making New Year resolutions or penning down a “to do list” that I will probably forget when circumstances takes a twisted turn. For me, every day is a new beginning to do what needed to be done or make that call, adjust that life style or take that decision needed to stair my life in the right direction. Some of the decisions I made last year like Reinvesting my Heart Again for some reasons best known to my creator didn’t come to pass but so many decision I didn’t jot down on any piece that just came or dawned on me from the daily mundane conversations I had with the wonderful people my creator has placed in my life saw the light of the day prominent among which is the establishment of my research firm. I have a very weird and what some folks called awkward believe system and this stems from the opinionated submission that my life has been predestined prior to my conception and the only duty I owe to the will power who have predestined my life is to be good and deviate from sin and be human in a world where everyone is devaluing the very act of humanity. I have a past that am not proud of but in this race of life where humanity strives for perfection daily, who would submit to being proud of yesterday than today is the person who is not adjusted to change and I don’t mean CHANGE in the context which the Buhari led administration came and psychological cajoled us into casting ballot for them. The year that precedes this year enslaved me to fears; fears of dying; fears of not meeting parental and societal expectations; fear of inadequacy; fears of failing my creator daily; fears of not meeting my needs then the Bethel song echoed a reassurance of my predisposition towards fear;

I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God

From my mother’s womb
You have chosen me
Love has called my name
I’ve been born again
Into your family
Your blood flows through my veins

I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God

I am surrounded
By the arms of the father
I am surrounded
By songs of deliverance

We’ve been liberated
From our bondage
We’re the sons and the daughters
Let us sing our freedom

You split the sea
So I could walk right through it
My fears were drowned in perfect love
You rescued me
And I could stand and sing
I am a child of God…

You split the sea
So I could walk right through it
You drowned my fears in perfect love
You rescued me
And I will stand and sing
I am a child of God

Yes, I am
I am a child of God
I am a child of God
Yes, I am
I am a child of God
Full of faith
Yes, I am a child of God
I am a child of God

I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God

Just when I was looking for a way to return all the glory for this reassurance through the Holy Spirit from Bethel song, Matt Redman gave it all to me through his soul uplifting rendition

Bless the Lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His Holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I’ll worship Your Holy name1
The sun comes up
It’s a new day dawning
It’s time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass
And whatever lies before me
Let me be singing
When the evening comes1
Bless the Lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His Holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I’ll worship Your Holy name
You’re rich in love
And You’re slow to anger
Your name is great
And Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness
I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons
For my heart to find
Bless the Lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His Holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I’ll worship Your Holy name
And on that day
When my strength is failing
The end draws near
And my time has come
Still my soul will
Sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years
And then forevermore
Forevermore
Bless the Lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His Holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I’ll worship Your Holy name

Now instinct have taken over me and I have hence resolved to do away with complaints. This disposition, Nathaniel Bassey reinforced with;

Casting crowns
Lifting hands
Bowing hearts
Is all we’ve come to do
Adonai, Adonai
Adonai, You reign on high
We will rise, in Your Name
Adonai, You reign on high
Reign on high
Reign on high
Casting crowns
Lifting hands
Bowing hearts
Is all we’ve come to do

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My Patriotism Story: A Joke in Action

am never giving up on Nigeria

am never giving up on Nigeria

Its yet another Independence anniversary for Nigeria and i have thought: what should i ramble about? Nothing pops up in my cheezy breezy weezy brain…..so i carried out a survey with two friends.

Sunday, my naughty friend suggested i write on “patriotism”. I declined because that would amount to betraying my conscience going by the connotative implication of the word “patriotism” hence, i cant say for sure ‘how patriotic i am’ judging by the fact that; i never recited the national anthem during NYSC orientation in camp; never remembered the nation in my sparingly morning devotion; have never worn anything green white and green(don’t even know what that connotes) and i have never made any known sacrifice for the nation aside forfeiting my meals in camp……so Mr. Sunday. What is patriotic about me when patriotism is not viewed from the perspective of the innateness school of thought?.

Mr. Suleiman suggested i, (his exact words) “write about the urgent need for a change of leadership, orientation of the masses about the brewing crisis and a host of other known issues”.

What my hommy meant by “host of other known issues is what am yet to decipher, since there was no known conference organized to itemize known issues after the Kutigi led romance that ended in 2014 and is already known.

Then as for his protest for a change of leadership, am wondering; could he be referring to a shift in political party? (I don’t think so, hey! No way, this dude is too sensitive not to know that the ruling party and the oppo-attacking are the same; could he be referring to the military taking over power? Nah! That guy enjoys his swags and freedom of expression and choice, especially with matters unconnected with the opposite sex, no way he will advocate for TYRANTS

Maybe he was referring to the youths. But how can that be? I remember him telling me during our undergraduate days….”oboy if i get dey opportunity na to enrich myself and my family oh…no time” ( his exact word). How can the same person advocate for his types to take over the helms of affair for change..nah.

Less I forget, he equally mentioned the orientation of the masses against the brewing crisis. Why the question of who the masses are in Nigeria is making the local pharmaceutical store in by neighborhood rich in the sales of paracetamol each time I search my head for the answer. I think the Anus-Horribilis of some slapsticks comedians from the south who are planning genocide and separation of Nigeria or the ongoing political genocide by the scariest element in the north should not be viewed as brewing crisis or the mindset of the masses (just thinking aloud).

With my glass of champagne raised acknowledging; Nelson Mandela, Fella Kuti, Nnamdi Azikiwe, Shehu Shagari, Michael Kombol,Ezekiel Asemah, Ngugi, Brutus, Achebe, Soyinka,Birago Diop, Gabriel Okara, Gever Celestine, Kayode Teslim, Ogujobi Jeremiah, Ifeoluwa, Timi Yesiebo, wordpress, Suleiman Isiaka, Dickson Ajogu, Opeyemi, my humble self and other black heroes who fought and are still fighting for the physical freedom of the black race……. i wish you guys a happy independence anniversary………thanks for flying with me.

Categories: General | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Focus: Mother’s Advice

image credited to: newstatesman.com

image credited to: newstatesman.com

For thirty four years that i remained married to your dad, i carried a surface injury in my heart that he constantly pricked but being a woman has only thought me to smile through those pains.

She took me outside along the river bank under the palm trees, asked me to stare at the surrounding with deep reflection on the aesthetic of nature surrounding us. I was astonished as to what would warrant such but being born into the ethnic group i never choosed, i knew i was forbidden from expressing my rage at such a trivial task in the early hours of the morning when i should be gunning for gold to feed the family, so i did and all i saw was the beauty of the palm trees and so when she asked me what i saw, i wasn’t sure of what to say and out of accumulated curiosity, i simply asked why all this in an early hours of the day.
Twenty seven years ago. She narrated, i almost laid down my life just to ensure you see and have a life, if i could go back in times, i would have wished you came to me under a more conducive environment but i look at you every day and glorify God for the man you’ve grown up to be.

After hearing the story of Cain and Abel, and how God watched the formal killed the later just to ask him “Cain where is your brother Abel”, i have long made peace with destiny to remain married to your father despite all i have been through and all that lies ahead of me so long as we remain husband and wife till death do us part.
Your father was a far cry from what any sane person would describe as a compassionate husband. I married him when i was barely fourteen years, lost my virginity to him, bore him eight children and have never seen the nakedness of another man before or after him, but there is no year that passes by prior to the last one year that i don’t pick quarrels with his concubines or himself on their account. The very night you arrived this earth before my very eyes, your father walked passed me with one of his concubine and didn’t return to the house till dawn.
For thirty four years that i remained married to your dad, i carried a surface injury in my heart that he constantly pricked but being a woman has only thought me to smile through those pains. Today i brought you out here being my only son to pray you never to conceive it in your heart to bring pain upon any woman. I was afraid you will grow up like your father but i thank God you didn’t inherit any gene but for intelligence from him and for this am proud of you son and i return the glory to God.
You might have known me to be a very lousy mother because am always raising my voice at your father but son, i wish i had a better ways of expressing my agony for this is who i was made to be by constant hurting.

Every night as i kneel to pray i ask that God give you a compassionate heart, and a woman who would not take that for granted. I know growing technology and the new media have shaped the society and those norms we consider etiquette in our time is term “Old Fashion” so i say to you as the woman who brought you to fulfill the life God has given you, that there should be no condition whatsoever for you not to love your wife and the presupposed mother of your children, my grand kids, even if you picked her from the club or the streets, you are under an oath with me this day to love her and aside God place no one above her, not even me your mother.

For every reason there is to make her shed tears, find a million reason and ways to put smiles on her face and if the world call you names for that then remember that, no name supersedes or can speak for you but the names i gave to you in the presence of God.
Your wife will become overtly disrespectful and see you as disgusting at some point and this is the time you should love, honor, serve and worship her the most (listen to a secret son) she is carrying my grandchild and i forbid you from ever hitting her and never walk away from her, learn to keep your rage under control. So many words abound in my uncanny heart to pour out to you this day but son this little wisdom i want you to always reminisce over for my time draw nile and may not know what life holds for me tomorrow but always hold on to this words and i guarantee you will have a union where your challenges will be surmounted by wisdom rather than fighting, for the formal is wisdom and the later is a sham.

 

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Reality Sucks

People will come and tell you they won’t hurt you
People will come and tell you they will love you better
People will come and promise more than can fulfil
People will come and promise never to make you cry

Am sorry if you are expecting all that from me
Because I will hurt you
Because I will have a mixed feelings about you
Because I won’t make promises to you
Because I will definitely make you cry

Am not perfect and can’t promise you perfection
I hope you will find my sincerity worthy of your love
But if this revelation changes your mind
Then I hope you will change your perception about life
But if you don’t then I hope you find a better man
But if you don’t then I hope you will be there for me.
For this is my life,
I have found it worth living
And will live it over and over again.

 

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illusions

don’t be deceived, your feelings is just a figment of your imagination and an illusionary perception of the perceived reality that surrounds you everyday…….feelings, emotions, and attitudes change as one grows up under different circumstances at different times.

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A STEP TOWARDS GIANT LEAP(2)

poetry has been my source of joy and diversion from the mundane conversation and bad news the fourth estate of the realm keep ditching out in my country where going negative is the power of the media and the only information that sells faster than good news. today i have decided to express my love for poetry, a product of literary creation in a two stanzas, right below my recent poem”Drum Beat”…..Welcome to New Year. i love you guys a bunch.

DRUM BEAT
The drum beat of love
The drum beat of happiness
Dance we in jubilation;
To the rhythm of peace.

Alas! the gun overwhelmed the drum
Sending joy on a temporary errand
Chant of sorrow filled the air
Sudden rise of refugee camp,
The very being of our deed.

Beaten by hunger,
Stripped by sorrow
Fed with truthful lies
Our choice of war peace to for make

THE SOUL MATE
Oh! literary creation
How wonderful a soul mate are thou
In self discovery process;
Thou stood toll.
In diversion and relaxation;
What a companion I find in thee
How I wonder my life without thee,
A miserable solitude to behold.

 

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