Posts Tagged With: pursuit of happiness

Focus: Mother’s Advice

image credited to: newstatesman.com

image credited to: newstatesman.com

For thirty four years that i remained married to your dad, i carried a surface injury in my heart that he constantly pricked but being a woman has only thought me to smile through those pains.

She took me outside along the river bank under the palm trees, asked me to stare at the surrounding with deep reflection on the aesthetic of nature surrounding us. I was astonished as to what would warrant such but being born into the ethnic group i never choosed, i knew i was forbidden from expressing my rage at such a trivial task in the early hours of the morning when i should be gunning for gold to feed the family, so i did and all i saw was the beauty of the palm trees and so when she asked me what i saw, i wasn’t sure of what to say and out of accumulated curiosity, i simply asked why all this in an early hours of the day.
Twenty seven years ago. She narrated, i almost laid down my life just to ensure you see and have a life, if i could go back in times, i would have wished you came to me under a more conducive environment but i look at you every day and glorify God for the man you’ve grown up to be.

After hearing the story of Cain and Abel, and how God watched the formal killed the later just to ask him “Cain where is your brother Abel”, i have long made peace with destiny to remain married to your father despite all i have been through and all that lies ahead of me so long as we remain husband and wife till death do us part.
Your father was a far cry from what any sane person would describe as a compassionate husband. I married him when i was barely fourteen years, lost my virginity to him, bore him eight children and have never seen the nakedness of another man before or after him, but there is no year that passes by prior to the last one year that i don’t pick quarrels with his concubines or himself on their account. The very night you arrived this earth before my very eyes, your father walked passed me with one of his concubine and didn’t return to the house till dawn.
For thirty four years that i remained married to your dad, i carried a surface injury in my heart that he constantly pricked but being a woman has only thought me to smile through those pains. Today i brought you out here being my only son to pray you never to conceive it in your heart to bring pain upon any woman. I was afraid you will grow up like your father but i thank God you didn’t inherit any gene but for intelligence from him and for this am proud of you son and i return the glory to God.
You might have known me to be a very lousy mother because am always raising my voice at your father but son, i wish i had a better ways of expressing my agony for this is who i was made to be by constant hurting.

Every night as i kneel to pray i ask that God give you a compassionate heart, and a woman who would not take that for granted. I know growing technology and the new media have shaped the society and those norms we consider etiquette in our time is term “Old Fashion” so i say to you as the woman who brought you to fulfill the life God has given you, that there should be no condition whatsoever for you not to love your wife and the presupposed mother of your children, my grand kids, even if you picked her from the club or the streets, you are under an oath with me this day to love her and aside God place no one above her, not even me your mother.

For every reason there is to make her shed tears, find a million reason and ways to put smiles on her face and if the world call you names for that then remember that, no name supersedes or can speak for you but the names i gave to you in the presence of God.
Your wife will become overtly disrespectful and see you as disgusting at some point and this is the time you should love, honor, serve and worship her the most (listen to a secret son) she is carrying my grandchild and i forbid you from ever hitting her and never walk away from her, learn to keep your rage under control. So many words abound in my uncanny heart to pour out to you this day but son this little wisdom i want you to always reminisce over for my time draw nile and may not know what life holds for me tomorrow but always hold on to this words and i guarantee you will have a union where your challenges will be surmounted by wisdom rather than fighting, for the formal is wisdom and the later is a sham.

 

Categories: General | Tags: , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Questionist Reborn

In quest for freedom and corrupt free nation;
In quest to bind and kill the destiny killer
We are biased with myopic myopia
Seldom our thought
That from the spring of wantonness loot;
That from the ever open gate of obtainment;
That from the negroid rock of age;
That from the long gonna imperialist
Lies our long-suffering

Alas! our suffering is alphabeta
For unto a higher form of subjugation
Is our reborn
Delivered from a questionist labour room
To a feeble born idaadaa
Accepting hook line and sinker,
We deliver our death warrant to blind obedience
But how obedient are our teachers?
Ah! I shall judge not,
For the anointing must not be touch
But does the anointing touch me?
If it does, I must not question
For the ways of God I must understand not
Me not anointed,
Me not theologically schooled,
Me a mare mortal;
Must be submissive to the anointed
Whom is my pulley to my eternal home,
But my day shall break,
For I alone must brake my day,
I must be a questionist again,
I must stage a revolution in my heart,
I must submit myself to Biblical inquiry;
Rather than religious indoctrination
For the former is the wisdom to toss me to my kingdom
But the later is blindness without cure

Idaadaa: in Igala language, one of the ethnic groups in Nigeria, the phrase refers to a non opinionated being who just succumbs to everything and everyone’s opinion without questioning whether its right or wrong

Categories: Poem | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Random Thoughts (2)

When you are born into a country where only your pastor and religious leaders are the one telling you that the only connection you need to make it in life is God while prevailing circumstances is pointing to the fact that aside the heavenly God you need another God, this time (the earthly God) to receive heavenly revelation and earthly motivation in which most cases is (brown envelope) in other to help you, your faith in what your religion leaders preach on the altar on Sunday will be shaken. Don’t feel bad about that and don’t make anybody make you feel that you are faithless and therefore cannot move your mountains rather look on the bright side of it and hope for a great show of the supremacy of God when he finally prevail upon your case.

While you are battling with your faith and holding unto Christ who will always prevail in a big way and make it seems as if he likes his children being mocked to the point of giving up before uplifting them above their enemies, you keep hearing testimonies from people of less faith and even non believers who at different stages have undergone breakthrough with help of their God father(earthly in this case), some even enter the church to praise him for paying #500,000 naira to someone and getting a job as a result and then hiding under the umbrella of testimony with the justification that if God was not in support, his bribe wouldn’t have earn him the job, as if our God is a promoter of corruption or uses it as a tool to grant some of his children testimonies and breakthrough.

While you are trying to understand why God didn’t deem it fit to distribute evenly the gift of wealth or to immediately bless you who have battled with two square meals as if there were no other person in worst scenario than you and graduated with plenty responsibilities and expectations written down on your B.sc/HND certificate. You still have your parents who psychologically shrink your very being with success stories of their friends and neighbor who have either bought a car for their parents, built a house, gotten married, or is sponsoring his or her siblings abroad as if it was your inadequacy or deficiency that has left you unemployed or as though they knew the source of their friend/neighbors child’s wealth. Talking of source of wealth; these days no body cares how it comes, they just want to see you successful.

While you are trying to understand why your parents are expecting much from you as if it was you that denied them the privilege of snatching the silver spoon from their creator or it was you that urge them to win the battle against the other million sperm cells that might be fortunate to have come into the world and secured for you a golden spoon for their grandchildren and generation yet unborn as Atiku Abubakar and the host of others have done. You have the society on the other hand telling you that you are better of death than alive.

While your pastor is consoling you with the story of a brother in church whom after youth service took him twenty years to get a job, another brother who is yet to complete his NYSC is sharing his testimony of a 200,000 naira monthly salary job he just secured to resume immediately after discharge and this is the point where you find it difficult to affirm your faith and wonder if the two fellow served the same God, and while he allowed one to wallow in misery for twenty years and the other in opposite situation but come on, who are you to question God, after all he watched Cain murdered his brother Abel just for him to ask him (Cain) where is your brother Abel. His ways are different from the ways of mortal being.

While you are trying to settle for the stark reality that God’s time is yet to come, don’t make the erroneous mistake of going into any relationship with the opposite sex if you are a guy (in my opinion) because sooner than later she will add to your misery and desperation either by eloping with that guy who has just arrived his destination or telling you how God has revealed to her that you guys were not meant for each other just to invite you to her wedding few months after(plan be has been on the line) your misery didn’t just open your eyes to see.
They tell you not all girls are the-same, it’s the fact but since the probability of finding those that are not the-same in their word is the-same as finding the probability that a coca-cola picked at random from a crate with twenty three poisonous bottles will be the good one. I advice you don’t add to your misery frustration but wait till you get there, after all there population is more than yours and you can always find one having in mind that the beautiful ones are not yet born.

While you are trying to understand why ladies prefer the “ready-made guys” (new word in women’s vocabulary for describing guys with good job and pay), you still have our legislature trying to steal your peace and freedom of expression in the social media where your misery always lead you to pour out your unending-in-sight frustration on any government official who is unfortunate to be mention in the news for diverting public funds as if you are not guilty of diversion at any point in your life. At least if for once in your life you were guilty of diversion, then the only difference between you and them (the leaders) is OPPORTUNITY.

just have faith

just have faith

Categories: General | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

TRUE CONFESSION

This year has not been very good to me and its not the first disappointment or misery i wear on my countenance as i journey through with daily struggles for survival. My believes, aspirations, and thoughts for the year from unset which was a mirage gave me reasons and a wish to renegotiate my very existence with my creator if i were to see him and hope for a voice to seek clarification on some terms and condition of service/existence. Talking of condition of services, i have not been faithful in paying my tithes and giving offerings in my sparing Sunday services. Though its not as if its the only service i owe my creator to earn his blessings and its neither a leverage for my existence and good health as my pastors and other religious leaders will make it seems, but even the praise, thanksgiving, worship and supplications which is not capital intensive, i have been lackadaisical about it. I often take refuge in predestination believing that what will be will be and that is the reason why my two hands can count the number of times i have been to church and other gathering of worship for this year.
I expected much from my creator and at some point childishly poured out my rage on him for giving me less not realizing that where i am is a yearning for many until recently coming to realize that my life is a script that am barely a protagonist acting out the character assigned to me.
I have tried my hands on so many things, some i failed, the ones i barely made it through with, accountability is questionable. So many people have crossed path with me this year, while some are a huge blessings, i can’t say the same about those that said they were Christians and calling God there witness on our first meeting (I have been duped twice by such fellow).
At a point, i thought i will be happy if am attached and as a result i allowed my emotions, heart and very being to be manipulated by the person i had a crush on but as the plot unfolds i latter realized that the happiness i seek has just begun and i resolved not to let what family, friends and society says about my being unattached bother or reflect in my memory. As much as my family brought me joy and happiness, so do they imported misery, frustration and psychological torture to my life, and am one of the few Nigerians who will admit without fear of favour that my family is not the perfect one but we create and grow in love from our imperfections.
I admit i have failed God this year but i can’t say the same of him for he has preserved me despite my inadequacy. I have given him reasons to be ashamed of me yet his mercies kept me. Needless to say he owes me nothing..
As hitherto said, i have tried my hands on so many things, but i find out too late, it was never my day but am gonna keep on trying until my lucky day but just before i proceed with my new identity henceforth, am taking out my time to say a big thank you to OJO ODOBAOGAGU my creator for his grace and mercy as i relocate to the back seat and allow him to steer the wheel of my life………..

OJO ODOBAOGAGU: an expression signifying the omniscient nature of God by the Igala people of Kogi state.

Categories: General | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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