LETTER TO MY UNBORN CHILD

warning: this letter you are about reading is born out of childhood of watching home movies coupled with my observation of some women in our contemporary society. It should not be a yardstick for judging my personality. Thanks

Every August as i celebrate my birth, it dawn on me that “life is in stages and men are in sizes” twenty children do not play for twenty years. This year am 25. Unlike your mum, am not shy neither am i intimidate by my age. At this age, i am yet to have a date (or girlfriend as the case maybe) and i fear for when you will arrive this planet, i fear for the outcome of the father/child relationship that will exist between us, i fear for what the mother earth has in stock for you, and above all, i fear for bringing you into this wicked and evil world.

I am sorry if i delay or disappoint you for not following the footsteps of your Grandfather whom at my age is already married to your grand mother with your two aunties.

But would you blame me for that? At my age, your grandpa was gainfully employed by the Federal government with bonus skills in agriculture for bare subsistence but here i am still gunning for gold while searching the globe to find you the best mum after serving my fatherland in a strange land. Before i forget to tell you. I also entertain fears for the woman who will bore you, i fear for how her carefree and absent-mindedness might bring you to harms way while playing as a kid, i fear for how she will neglect you for gossips with fellow women while am away toiling under the sun as a result of her deceitful act which has landed me in that predicament, i fear for when she will poison your mind and instigate you against me at every slightest provocation there is and these are but my greatest fear.

My greatest fear is what you will become in future. Whether, you will grow up a gentle fellow or let my inherited gene of sturbuness dominate your system, whether you will think before acting like your dad or simply act before calculating the consequences of your actions like your mum. Oops! Least i forget, i havent met your mum so whatever hasty generalisations i arrive at here about her is informed by the philosophical saying that “men think & talk” while “women talk & think” and to assume that your mum is different will be best insulting to the philosophers.

Amid the fear i entertain, i look forward to the day you will arrive mother earth, i look forward to the day you will grow up to have such discussions that the fear of a dirty slap/withdrawal of pocket-money never let me had with your grandpa. Discussion like;when your body chemistry is electrocuting you towards opposite sex; sex education; when you start a date etcetera.

I look forward to the day i will say “this is my beloved child, in whom i am well pleased” or simply turn to your mother and say to her “woman, you see the disappointments your child has brought upon you. Did i hear you saying….”what is this man saying? Is he expecting me to bring disappointments to them?. Well child, what my age can see seating down, you can never see it even when at the top of airtel antenna and the problem with children is “you never know what they grow up to become”. So yes, am expecting you to bring disappointment to your mum as much as you make me proud. The choice is yours to make but either way, remember its your life to live for i might not be there to help your mother bury her head in shame if you are otherwise from making her proud, but trust me, if the reverse happens to be the case, even there from above, I will chant your praise to the angels and proudly say “that is my child”.